Mother's Day and Coping...

Mother's day is next week.... Why am I not excited??

Some of us are missing our Mothers, some of us are missing our children, and some of us Mothers are missing our Husbands.  In any case, in the Missing Person's world, no matter how hard you try to be grateful for what you have, it is still hard to see past the pain and enjoy Mother's day.

My own Mom was missing for 6 years and and every Mother's day that came was just a reminder that everyone around me had their Mom's but I didn't.  A reminder that if she had chosen to go off on her own, she didn't want to be with me.  Or the reminder that if something awful happened to her and she was alive, she was spending Mother's day alone.  Or even worse if she had died, then I had spent every year feeling hopeful that she would contact me on Mother's day.

Through all of that time, I could hardly enjoy Mother's day with my son.  I took that joy away from him by being sad about my own situation.  I couldn't see the value of it if I couldn't tell my mom how much I loved her.  I know all of the things I would say to try to comfort a friend if they had been going through all of those same things, but those kind of words fell on deaf ears for me.  I didn't want to hear it.  I was just so sad.

It has been 2 and a half years since I found out my Mom's fate and it hasn't gotten any easier.  I am not looking forward to Mother's day.  My mom was not a "good" mom, but she loved us.  Now that I am an adult I see the value in that simple gesture.  She loved us deeply every day and that alone, makes all the things she did wrong, forgivable.

I have only learned each year to smile through the tears, try to be grateful that I am a Mom, and honor my Mother as much as I can by loving my son the way she loved me and my brothers.

I don't have any good advice on how to cope through days like this, only a few words to tell you that you are not alone and wherever your loved is, they are thinking about you on this day.  I am so sorry for everything that you all are going through.  I know that it's not easy, and I know that you can lose yourself in it.  I hope that you can get past the pain better than me.  Most of all, I hope that you have a good Mother's day and know that you are loved. 

Stephanie Thompson
Daughter of Catherine Marie Lique, Missing for 6 years in California.